I am not an expert on Chinese Face Reading, but I was able to take my love of selfies, astrology and pop-culture, and create this semi-helpful guide in showing you what your “best face” actually looks like to others. And if you’re not interested in yourself, this can show you what your friends (and frenemies) are subconsciously conveying to the world on Instagram. Read on for descriptions.
There are elemental and planetary face shapes and they do align with western astrology and selfie taking! But with selfies, it’s a little different. The closer a camera is to your face, the more of the “fishbowl effect” you’re going to get–so it makes illusion creating easier. Neptune, the planet of said illusion (and fish), rules over cameras and photography, so go figure.
My nose is not this washed out in real life, my forehead is not this wide and my chin is not that small, but what the picture coveys is what I subconsciously want it to.
I want you to think I’m smarter, so my forehead is big. I want you to think I’m not overly ambitious or aggressive, making my chin smaller. I also want you to believe that I’m balanced emotionally, which is conveyed through the Snapchat beauty filter that put a nice color-balance over my cheeks. Lastly, my half-gone nose doesn’t allow you to see if ego rules this selfie or if it’s shear selfie communication.
For your own analysis of people’s selfies: Remember that the forehead is the mental (intelligence, logic) plane, cheeks and nose are emotional (intuition, kindness), and chin and jaw are physical (ambition, aggression).
You’ll notice when someone takes a picture from a severely high angle, they are trying to show intelligence. From a low angle they are showing you authority. From straight on, they have no idea how to find their best angle and need selfie help because they look super emotional and vulnerable. Hiding their face with sunglasses or hand? They’re Probably hiding something from you and/or feeling insecure.
What you see here on the Internet is always an illusion.
Eyes Are Your Life Source
Although, eyes ARE the windows to your soul, as soon as you snap a photo and put a filter over it, you are no longer allowing others insight, you are putting on a show. Neptune is the planet that rules over the camera lens. So between the person, the picture, and the audience, Neptune creates a sort of visual “Telephone.” This means that what you do with your eyes in a picture, tells us less about who you are as a person, and more about the kind of person you want to be, and what you believe you have to do to get there.
What Your Selfie is Saying:
Hiding or Obstructing your eyes behind an object (sunglasses, arm, hair, hand, heavy filter, etc): Believing that your true nature will not give you the real love, or the artificial “likes” that you want. You may want to look at who you are at the moment. Are you holding yourself back? Are you feeling ashamed or guilty? Do you feel unattractive or out of control? Hiding your eyes is hiding who you truly are, and not allowing anyone to draw their own conclusions about you–The ultimate concealment and control. This kind of selfie can be considered artistic, but it is also true that real artists do not want anyone entering their soul, so it is one in the same.
Darkening your eyes: You are making yourself appear more mysterious and interesting, which can be an obstruction of sorts. Dilated pupils show how much we love something, and in a selfie with the camera turned towards us, we are looking at ourselves. If you can’t see where the pupil and iris meet, we are hiding our self-love. This could be a sign of narcissism or a sign of self-hate, as darkening your eyes is the most deceptive form of hiding your eyes.
Lightening your eyes: Showing others that you are more psychic, sensitive, and intuitive than you might actually be. This is friendly, but if it’s too light, it’s also dishonest and an obstruction. Lighter eyes are vulnerable, and can mean that the selfie-taker is lonely and wants you to talk to them.
“Squinching” or “Smizing”: Showing that you are mischievous, sexual, hard to get, out of their league, focused and watch a lot of ANTM.
Enlarging eyes (filter, widening them): Showing your flirtatious and kind side. Trying to attract people to you, as large eyes tend to do. Also showing that you don’t watch ANTM.
Just for fun:
I’ve seen people in social media videos constantly bug out and then “squinch” their eyes while talking or posing. This is what you think it is. They are flirting and trying to attract you and then they are denying you and showing their sexual power. But for the most part it looks insane.
Eyebrows Are How You Act in Relational Situations
As humans, we subconsciously read over each other’s eyebrows to understand how our relationship (or friendship) will be. In a work situation we want thick, straight brows to show ambition. In a love relationship, it be nice if they were more curved and a little thinner, to show sensitivity and understanding. Of course there are extremes too, and in selfies I’ve noticed that the lens “fishbowl effect” creates some interesting extremes with the brows. This curse is also a blessing, and forces our relationship detectors to scream at us.
What Your Selfie is Saying:
Obstructing the camera’s view (hair, glasses, filter or shaving) of your eyebrows: You are hiding your relational behavior.
Shaving off your eyebrows & drawing in new ones or drawing over your natural brow: If you shave off your brows and draw them in smaller than they naturally are, you are showing your desire to be anti-social. If you use make-up to create eyebrows that are thicker than your natural brow, you are showing yourself to be needy for love. Both of these can turn people off of your selfie (and of you as a person), since the viewer is not sure how you will act around them, but are pretty confident it’s going to be extreme, and that you are going to lie about it.
Eyebrows that are too-tweezed or falling off: You are an unbalanced person, maybe through pregnancy hormones, a bad thyroid, or your own life choices. It may be time to start balancing out your birth chart and remember NOT to tweeze on a full moon (that crazy moon is not the time to get rid of facial hair.)
Thin: You appear sensitive. If they are too thin, then you appear too sensitive, and others may walk on eggshells around you, or leave comments like “TBH you seem nice, stay happy, know you’re loved”. A low-angle selfie creates smaller brows, and since a large chin shows “authority”, the whole package just says that you are protecting yourself from people’s comments, because you can’t handle any sort of criticism.
Thick: You have a lot of passion for others. Too thick, and you are probably viewed as “too much” for people. Angling the camera to create a larger forehead makes your brows bigger, which is you saying “Look at me! I’m passionate for others and attention! Give me likes!”
Straight: You are a take charge & logical person. You would rather think than feel, and you probably posted this picture because you think it’s about time people saw your face. If your brows are super straight looking in a picture, you may get less “likes” and more rude comments from friends, as they would believe that you don’t want their love or need their likes (even if you secretly do).
Curved: You are friendly, understanding, and a creative type. Rarely do your eyebrows appear curved on a picture without also writing some inspirational bit of commentary underneath. Very curved brows make you look literally crazy, as if your creative side took over and you have nothing stable to offer anyone.
Angled: You are opinionated and seek control. Creating the high-angled arch with makeup, is a great way to tell everyone that you are high-maintenance, a control freak and probably single (even if it’s not true). If they are naturally this way, you might want take a look at your love life. This is a very strong Aries (Rising, Sun, Moon) indicator, as Aries is self, the opposite of Libra (relationships).
Unibrow or close together brows: You are a reactor, have a lot of anxiety, and give no time to think about other’s wants separate from your own. You also appear to have no boundaries in your relationships. This makes it hard for people to trust their independence around you, and believe you to be very jealous, even if you are not.
Large distance between eyebrows: You think before you act and may just never act at all. The farther apart your brows are, the more simple, detached from earth, or dumb you appear to people. This can also be a sign of someone who cannot understand what other people are in their life for, and for that reason can’t hold down a relationship, and may turn on people quickly.
Your right eyebrow is higher: You are a controlling woman, or a passive man. If you are raising it, you are projecting the quality. If it’s natural, you are just that way.
Your left eyebrow is higher: You are a controlling man, or a passive woman. If you are raising it, you are projecting the quality. If it’s natural, you are just that way.
Your Forehead is your intelligence, creativity and originality
The forehead is a big part in selfie taking, even if it’s not something you notice in your everyday interactions. With that being said, in real life, a small forehead doesn’t actually mean “dumb” but in selfie-land, projecting a large forehead definitely tells you how smart you want to be perceived as! And it is SO easy to make your forehead look bigger–just put the camera above your head, angle down, and voila! Huge effing forehead (with larger brows to boot).
What Your Selfie is Saying:
Hidden forehead (Bangs, hand, hat, cropped off in the center): You are hiding your intelligence, but not necessarily admitting to ignorance. This is usually what you do when you don’t want to have an intelligent discussion with anyone under your picture (or in real life), but also don’t want to go right out and say it. You could also have an inferiority complex about your intelligence and choose to put the focus on other parts of your face instead.
Enlarged forehead: You are showing everyone how creative and smart you are! You can even make your forehead go on forever by cropping the photo right at your hairline, after you already angled the camera high above your head. In all actuality, this creates a very alien (Uranus) quality, and can turn people off, if it’s too ridiculous. I’ve noticed that people who do this, don’t even realize how large this angle makes their nose and how small their chin and lips become. It’s that subconscious satisfaction of seeing your huge, intelligent forehead that keeps you from realizing what a disaster the selfie is.
Small forehead: This can make you appear stupid or simple-minded. It’s very rare to see this in selfie-taking, because no one wants to project that. Unless they are part of a clique or crowd that feels inferior around intelligence. Usually the forehead is cropped out of the picture, or their hair is in the way giving it the hidden quality. But again, just because you naturally have a small forehead, it does not make you stupid. Read about Rita Hayworth and how she had to move her hairline back an inch to project a better face. We see forehead, we see brains.
Bulging forehead: You are showing how rebellious your mind is. This can also be created with a high-angle, and a love of the extreme fishbowl effect of the lens, when you put the camera really close to your face. People do this when they want you to know that they are weird AF.
Your Nose is Your Ego and Your Wealth
Does it ever bug you that the high-angled selfie is so common, when it makes your nose look super effing huge? You see, it’s not for beauty purposes that people post that stuff! The poster doesn’t even realize it, just as they don’t totally realize how strange self-portraits are. When you make your nose look big, you are unconsciously telling the world that you think you are awesome, and why else would you take a selfie and post it, if you didn’t want to tell people that? By the way I never said it’s not healthy to selfie, I think selfies are very healthy in this day and age (self love, and getting to know your face, is good), but just like any healthy thing in life–an addiction is still crap.
What Your Selfie is Saying:
Hiding your nose (with your hands, hair, scarf, filter, or too much light/glare): You are hiding how much you love yourself, how big your ego is, and how much money you have in the bank. You may think it’s rude of you to take this picture of yourself and post it, but you want to anyway. It’s sort of your happy medium between narcissism and art.
Large nose: You love love love your face, and love money.
Small nose: You will follow someone else’s advice over your own, which can be the result of low self-esteem, or simple loyalty depending on the rest of your face. You may also have a hard time making your own money.
Naturally sloped up, or camera angled up the nostrils: You care a lot about other people’s opinion of you, and are probably hoping no one says anything bad. Please.
Naturally sloped down, or high angled camera: You are very skeptical of others, and aren’t interested in other people’s business. You just want to take this picture of yourself, K thx.
Big nostrils: You “leak money” and can’t hold onto a healthy ego for long. You’re like an empty cup that constantly needs support, likes and love. Be careful of flaring your nostrils in pictures.
You Mouth is Your capacity for love
Your lips are how much love you have inside of you, and your teeth are that controlling part of your personality that your lips are protecting. Can you give love to others? And once you are in love, are you flexible with your partner? It’s interesting that most people rarely smile in selfies (me included). The duck-face, sparrow-face, or whatever else we do, seem to say that selfies are about attracting a mate or “likes,” not at all about keeping them forever.
What Your Selfie is Saying:
Hiding your lips: You are hiding your heart. I guess you don’t want people to know about your love life for some reason. This may be someone who’s gone through hell in love, or is afraid of putting themselves out there.
Big and full lips (Natural, Duck or Kylie Jenner): You are, or want to be seen as a sexual lover, goddess, or Don Juan. You are also simultaneously seen as a total cheater, player and quite extra. Yes too much lip, can be a little ridiculous.
Small or thin lips: You are callous and you keep to yourself. People who seem to have no heart, have thin lips. They also appear to be completely self-centered in love affairs. Although they are most likely very loyal to their partners when they finally choose to love.
Angling your lips up at corners: You want to be seen as an optimist. If this isn’t natural, you are probably trying to fake it ’til you make it.
Angling your lips down at corners: You probably want to be seen as a realist, but come off as a pessimist and a downer.
Tight mouth: You are definitely going to be seen as cruel and hiding some huge secret about the evil deed you just did. Why people post these selfies is beyond me. Like you want people to believe you’re cold, mean and a liar? Cuz that’s what is happening here.
Hiding teeth: You are hiding your flexibility in relationships. You want them to come to your bed, but you aren’t ready to give up the nightmare you are yet.
Smiling: You’re telling everyone that this is just the way you are, and they will have to deal with it. It shows that you are comfortable with who you are, whether or not that is true, depends on if you used an app to whiten your teeth.
Yellow teeth: In this day and age, you can whiten that and hide it, but if you don’t, yellow teeth show people that you are worn out and lazy, but ultimately pretty flexible because of that.
White teeth: These show self-control, but they also show youth, attractiveness and how dateable you are. Overly-white teeth show that you are high-strung.
Crooked top teeth: You like to be up front with people, and don’t have patience for anyone who holds back their wants. If they do hold back, you will gladly walk all over them.
Crooked bottom teeth: You are good at hiding your crazy, can be a great liar, and will pretend to be flexible, but are mostly passive aggressive.
Perfectly square teeth: You avoid any change, at all costs.
Gap-toothed: you are overly-flexible and probably get taken advantage of a lot. People love those who smile with the gap tooth, it’s very inviting.
Your other traits
Cheeks are your emotional behavior and confidence in yourself. The amount of space your cheeks take up in the picture, will tell you how much you are loving being in the picture. You could imagine that hair in the face or hands over the face is a sign of insecurity, or hiding imperfections–something doesn’t want to be seen, whether it’s internal or external.
Ears are how we hear and whether or not we want feedback or attention. The idea here is that if your ears are exposed and stick out, you want people to talk to you. If your ears are hidden, you’re definitely not posting the picture as a conversation piece.
Chin and Jaw are our power, and how assertive and domineering we are. Being “jawless” is actually a thing that appears in those high angle selfies and in anyone that has no power in their life. It’s the physical plane of our face, so it’s the visual representation of reacting to our gut instincts. A low angle selfie will show this off, and is often what you will go towards when you’re feeling empowered or god-like, or at least when you’re trying to achieve one of those.
The left side of your face is your Social side.
Showing: Look how fun I am!
Hiding: My private life is my private life.
The right side of your face is your Business side.
Showing: This selfie is serving a purpose.
Hiding: There is no reason for this selfie worth explaining.
Both showing: You are trying to show balance.